IMs!
by Rozablood
Summary: This is just a normal--though not, to an outsider--convo on IM between me and my BFF, the five foot maniac Jayne. I put it under VA cause it's mentioned a couple times and all my other stories are here. Rated for language and suggested sex themes. ENJOY!


**KK, so I was just talking to my friend Jayne (squaybe) on yahoo, and this is the result!**

Squaybe: bop!  
uhh...  
Buzz?

Me: buzz? what buzz? I swear to god I'm not Drunk  
wait, backtrack  
I swear to Drunk I'm not God

squaybe: lol

Me: haha

squaybe: i gotta webcam

Me: AWESOME! NOW GIMME!

squaybe: getur own!

Me: gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme!!

squaybe: u know, if you download yahoo messenger 10 and get a webcam, we could video chat

Me: fuck you, you know I don't have the money  
/s/5518443/1/The_Ten_Best_Ways_to_Act_Stupid

squaybe: well, messenger 10 in free, and u could watch MY webcam...

Me: THE TEN BEST WAYS TO ACT STUPID  
*points at URL*

Squaybe: I no, now shut up and let me read

Me: k  
k  
k  
k  
k  
k  
k  
k  
k  
k  
k  
K  
u done yet?

squaybe: waz with the k's?

Me: no idea

squaybe: almost  
THAT.  
WAS  
FUCKING  
HILARIUSE!!!

Me: you spelled HILARIOUS wrong. see the difference?

Squaybe: shut UP!

Me: NO

squaybe: *please?*

Me: **? why the **?

squaybe: with pretty stars on top?

Me: haha  
no

squaybe: ?

Me: READ  
MY  
LIPS

U  
SPELLED  
IT  
WRONG!

!!

!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!

squaybe: what? WHAT did i spell wrong?

Me: HILARIOUS!  
YA DOUCHE!

squaybe: so? u fixed it fo me

Me: NOW YOU SPELLED FOR WRONG! OF AAALLLLLL THE WORDS TO SPELL WRONG, YOU PICK FOR?  
YOU SMELL!

squaybe: but itz not for. iz fo

Me: IT'S AND IS, NOT ITZ AND IZ!

squaybe: but itz not its itz itz  
and u said i can't spell  
XD

Me: YOU, NOT U!

squaybe: but itz not you, itz u, see?

Me: STOP!

squaybe: theres a differance, duh

Me: YOUR MAKING THE VOICES ANGRY!  
DIFFERENCE, NOT DIFFERANCE

squaybe: u just tell ur damn voices to go to hell, mk?

Me: !!!!!!!!!!!

squaybe: thatz wut i thoguht

Me: THOUGHT, NOT THOGUHT! you just made it sound like tho-gut

!!!

!!!!  
!!

squaybe: i ment to do that  
XD

Me: THO-GUT! YOU MEANT THO-GUT! ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING?

squaybe: U

Me: ?

squaybe: never mind

Me: LOL!

squaybe: lol ur ass!

Me: O.o

squaybe: jk

Me: ooooo, thats dirty

squaybe: LoL

Me: haha

squaybe: yep

Me: /watch?v=8gaPklI_ps4&feature=PlayList&p=99FCF2F9A7E4DC8B&index=51

squaybe: i wonder what that was called...hm

Me: umm, what?

squaybe: hmm... i wonder what that was called  
(duh!)

Me: OMG!

squaybe: what is it now?

Me: I'm listening to the RUSSIAN VERSION!

squaybe: kewl..

* * *

Me: Sounds friggin AWESOME!

squaybe: kewl...

Me: ............................................ ........................................... ........................................... ........................................... ......................................... ........................................... ............................................... ........................................... .......................................... ...........

squaybe: so does the girl in the vid. blow them all up, er wut?

Me: *shrugs shoulders*

squaybe: uhg  
*ME!*

Me: ?

squaybe: hug me...

Me: *hugsies*

squaybe : *hugsies back*  
U

Me: O_o

squaybe: W

Me: ?

squaybe: ut the duck?

Me: O.o

squaybe: ding dong!

Me: *smiles and backs away slowly*

squaybe: the witch is dead!  
the wicked witch is deaaad!

Me: OMG!

squaybe: SMILE!  
*click*

Me: Some ITT tech dudes were looking at my laptop, and they said, and I quote, "Your computer is dead. D E D dead"

squaybe: i'm ur stalker

Me: WTF?

squaybe: like edward cullen

Me: D E D DOES NOT SPELL DEAD!  
and these were the SMART people!

squaybe: then talk to the dumb ones

Me: I'm talking to you aren't I?

squaybe: for your life, pretend you did not just say that.

Me: I am, though

squaybe: i'll sick edward cullen on you!

Me: AHHHHH!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

squaybe: he'll try to make you see him sparkle!  
in secret places

Me: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! *cowers under couch* YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!!!

squaybe: ooooooowwwwwhhhhhh.....

Me: I don't even wanna knoe  
*know*

squaybe: yes u do  
its a new drug called Nevermore  
iz fun  
wwweeeehhh

Me: OOOOO!!! ME LOVE PIXI STIX!

squaybe: those are SO last minute  
not that i can tell the time...

Me: ME NO CARE!

squaybe: but still!

Me: LOVE!! LOVE PIXI!! LOVE PIXI STIX!!

squaybe: i love Never! dun-da-dun-dun-dun-dun  
i love Never!

Me: READ ME BOOK!

squaybe: me no wanna

Me: duhn  
duhn  
duhn

squaybe: duhn

Me: DIE!

squaybe: um... no

Me: *cries* BUT WHY?

squaybe: casue i don't wanna!  
XD  
na na nana na!

Me: DIE! *sicks Strigoi Dimitri on you*

squaybe: (this will sound really grose)  
how bout IN me?  
XD

Me: !

squaybe: yum

Me: did you notice I put LAMA on the end?

squaybe: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: ...

squaybe: no i didn't

Me: O.o

Squaybe: wow  
look up^  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Me: I did doof

squaybe: made you look!!!!!!!!

Me: ^^^  
LAMA POWER!

squaybe: DONKY POWER!

Me: you mean ASS POWER!

squaybe: or dog power...

Me: BITCH POWER!

squaybe: TO THE MAX!

Me: DITTO!

Squaybe: dude  
watz with the ditto?  
u ruined my mood

Me: we should totally friggin make this one of those fanfiction chat room stories!

Squaybe: would people really want to here us bitch?

Me: *shrugs* I like out-of-date things *winks inconspicuously to smexxi Russian dude*  
dunno  
that would be friggin awesome though.  
and they technically have with the chats I put between us at the ends of my chapters

squaybe: but not JUST bitching

Me: oh, well, I'm gonna

squaybe: i got new moon candy yesterday

Me: AAAAHHHH!  
did it have edward?

squaybe: no

Me: YAY!

squaybe: team jacob!

Me: ALL THE FRIGGIN WAY!

squaybe: HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: jacob and that sexy peice of ass on him!

squaybe: ???

Me: ?  
Jacob has a sexy ass

squaybe: yeah, but wuts IN FRONT OF HIS ASS?

Me: TAYLOR LAUTNER IS HOT!! H U G H T HOT!  
oooh, thats dirty

Squaybe: no, he's SEXY!  
duh

Me: I know some sexier

Squaybe: who  
?

Me: DIMITRI FRIGGIN BELIKOV IS THE SMEXXIEST PERSON ALIVE! (or undead, however you wanna say it)

squaybe: ur gonna kill me, but HE'S NOT REAL!

Me: I  
DO  
NOT  
CARE  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

squaybe: i like taylor lautner better

Me: *picks up machine gun and points it at you* what did you say?

squaybe: I. LIKE. TAYLOR. LAUTNER. BETTER!  
wut u gonna do about it?  
punk?

Me: OOOOOO! YOU'RE IN FOR IT!!!!!

Squaybe: bring it on

Me: If we didn't live an hour and a half away from each other I'd come over there and kick your ass

squaybe: XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

Me: And you know I would too, wouldnt I five foot maniac?

squaybe: this is a quote from . see if you can tell what it means.  
"An act or stimulation of the felletis"

Me: I AM NOW FIVE SEVEN! I CAN KICK ALL YALLS ASSES!

squaybe: *snickers* it means a blow job

Me: HAHAHAHAHA!

squaybe: i'm still 5 2  
they should make a sex smily

Me: I'm a whole friggin five inches taller and four days older  
speaking of which…  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Squaybe: thanx!  
i got to go  
seeyas!

Me: AWWWWWWWW!  
buh buy

*three minutes later*

Me: AHH!  
i LOST it!

squaybe: *sighs* lost what?

Me: I lost our chat!  
do you still have it  
?

squaybe: yes  
all of it

Me: if you do, copy/paste into email and send it to me

squaybe: mk  
ill do it now

Me: THANK YOU!!

**There you have it, a regular convo between me and my BFF Jayne! REVIEW!**


End file.
